Excuses, Excuses, Excuses

I am so sick of all the excuses lately.  Jesse James used the excuse that he was physically and emotionally abused as a child by his father and that is why he cheated on Sandra Bullock.  Tiger Woods used the excuse that he was a sex addict as the reason he cheated on his wife.  Michael Jackson used the excuse that an event that happened in the late 80's was the reason he was a drug addict.  These are just celebrity examples but I have been hearing plenty of excuses with people I know.  Somehow people's behavior is excusable if they can cough up a decent reason.  It's ok to be a shitty person as long as you have some past event you can blame it on.  Whatever happened to people taking responsibility for their own actions?  It seems more common and popular to just make excuses rather than owning up.

One of my favorite actresses is Reese Witherspoon.  She and her most handsome hubby split up a few years back reportedly because he was having an affair.  In a magazine article Reese was quoted as saying that after the divorce she had to evaluate and own up to what was her responsibility in the failure of their marriage.  This is something that just made me like her even more.  In any relationship that goes sour, each person needs to own up to their responsibility.  No matter if it is a marriage, friendship, work relationship, etc.  Each person contributes to the breakdown and yes, sometimes one person contributes more to that breakdown such as cheating.  It is easier to point blame rather than looking at ourselves and what we contributed to situations. Like the saying goes, anytime you point a finger there is always three fingers pointing back at you.

One of my biggest pet peeves is someone blaming their actions on someone else or something that happened in the past.  "She has poor boundaries because she had such a rough upbringing", "He cheated because he was abused as a kid", "We stopped being friends because she talked about me behind my back".   Everyone has difficult times in their life but some use that difficult time to make excuses and gather sympathy rather than grow up and be an adult.  So in essence, grow a pair and take some responsibility rather than making excuses.

. . .And She's Off!

Today Anna crawled!!  I have been suspecting that Anna was crawling for a little while now but had never been able to catch her in action until today.  She has been a sneaky crawler!  Her boyfriend, Cayden at daycare started crawling last week so I figured it would be no time before Anna was chasing after him.  I came home from work out today and  Dave had Anna on the floor and she was crying.  The daycare worker told him that Anna was crawling all over the place today at daycare and Dave wanted to see her crawl.  About 2 seconds after Dave walked out the door Anna(pitifully crying) crawled to me to pick her up!!  I was met with mixed emotions.  On one hand I am excited that she is growing up and on the other hand I am sad that she is growing up.

Then I go to give Anna a bath and as I am running the water, she is clapping!  She loves water and was so excited to be getting a bath that she was clapping.  It was the first time I have seen her clap and it was precious.

These are the moments that just make me smile and thank God for the blessing named Anna.  I love being a mom and just didn't know how much I could love someone so little until I had Anna.  Her smile can make my day no matter what else is going on.  I look forward to each moment I have with her because I know each moment is precious.  I love my husband and daughter and really could not ask for anything more.  So milestone crawling: check.  Milestone walking: in progress.

Sailing Away

I will be sailing away to Mexico in almost one week!  I am excited, sad and scared all at the same time.  It is the first time in several years that I will be away from Dave that long and I have never been away from Anna more than a day.  I know Dave will do a great job of taking care of Anna while I am gone, I'm just going to miss them both so much.  I am taking a girls trip with my mom, sister and my mom's bff, Sandy.  I am looking forward to just relaxing even though I know I am still going to be missing my bunny and pumpkin.  Hopefully my sister and I will not kill each other.  We are complete opposites and can only spend limited time together.  Last time we took a cruise we did good, so here is hoping that history repeats itself! 

I watched two movies this weekend that had beautiful scenery and just made me wanting to travel even more so:  "Vicky Cristinia Barcelona" which took place in Spain and "Letters to Juliet" which took place in Italy.  I am a very curious person which probably explains my daughter a lot (she is very curious) and I would love spending the rest of my life traveling the world.  There are so many places I want to visit both within the U.S. and abroad.  I have made a list of such places and hopefully with time, mark each one off!  Dave is not big on traveling mostly because it requires flying so I know I will take some trips without him but of course never alone because what's the point of that!  Experiences are only fun if you have others to share in them!

Keeping Up With The Jones'

This morning I was reading a blog that just really spoke to me.  It was of a guy who was a corporate lawyer in DC who decided he was not happy working 80+ hours a week and wanted more purpose in his life.  He now works non-profit.  He also packed up most of his clothes and gave them to charity and now focuses on living a simple but purposeful life.  I enjoyed reading this stranger's blog because it really made me think about what is important to me.

I grew up poor so material things really don't matter that much to me.  To me, material things do not make you happy.  I really don't care about how big my house is, what car I drive or how much I spent on my clothes.  Anyone that knows me knows that I am a bargain shopper and I only buy things on sale.  My child's clothing comes from:  hand-me-downs, Target and the thrift store.  I find it silly to spend $50 on one single clothing item for a 9 month old child.  I grew up just wanting to live in a real house because I had always lived in a trailer house.  I told Dave when he was buying me an SUV that I didn't care what he bought me as long as it wasn't a Hyundai(only because they are crap cars).  He bought me an Audi because he knew I liked it and just wants to make me happy.

I struggle with trying to always focus on what is really important in life and not care about the material things that just don't matter.  I sometimes get caught up in other people's value on material things.  Now I am just getting to the point where I don't care if someone talks bad about me.  Money and "things" do not make you happy.   Dave tells me all of the time that he works hard so that he can give Anna and I whatever we want and I constantly tell him that all I want is him and Anna.  It is that simple.  As long as we are not struggling to make ends meet, I really do not care about the rest.

 I went to a friend's house for an event this past year and I along with other friends brought food and went early to visit with this friend.  Later on in the evening this friend had some acquaintances show up and she placed more emphasis on these acquaintances than us (friends) because these acquaintances have more of a social status( well known families, money, etc.)  My feelings were very hurt.  I value people based on who they are not what they are.

When I was in eighth grade one of my best friends wore a pair of cool purple jeans (yes, purple-it was the early 90's) to school one day.  I told her I liked her jeans and she said, "They're Girbaud".  This meant nothing to me so I asked her what Girbaud jeans were and she explained it.  I just thought they were cool jeans, still didn't matter to me what brand they were or that they cost $80.

I just think sometimes we all get so caught up on the material things that we don't focus so much on the things that really matter in life.  The things that really matter to me right now:  having a good marriage with my husband, having a healthy and happy daughter, spending time with family and friends, being a good person, making a difference, following God's path.  I have no interest in keeping up with the Jones' because in the end that isn't what matters.

The Toothless Bandit

A new mom said to me today "I just am not sure what I am doing is right" in referring to how she is feeling as a new mom.  I told her I've been a mom for 9 months now and I still feel this way.  You read books, people give you all kinds of advice and opinions (most unwanted) and you still feel uncertain that you are doing the right thing.  For example, my child still has no teeth.  I refer to Anna as "The Toothless Bandit".  She currently is eating baby food three times a day and bottles in between.  I look at the recommended guidelines and this is perfectly acceptable but other people feel free to tell me what their kid ate and basically insinuate that the way I am feeding Anna is all wrong.  UGH!  Please tell me how I am suppose to give my child meat when she does not have any teeth in which to chew said meat?!  Yes, please I would love my child to choke!

I am pretty strict on what I introduce and feed Anna.  Excuse me but I do not want my child eating crap food.  I am trying my best to instill in Anna good and healthy eating habits so that she might carry this with her throughout life.  I have learned that I need to lay off on all the orange veggies (carrots, squash, sweet potatoes) because Anna is looking a little jaundice.  I thought only carrots caused this but I found out today otherwise! (See pic of her orange nose at the bottom of post!) I'm not a perfect parent nor will I ever be.  I am just trying my best and that is all I can do.  I told new mom what I believe:  every child is different, every parent is different and different isn't wrong.  Hey if you want to give your child sugar and disgusting processed meat, go ahead I don't care.  Just please don't judge me because I don't do things the way you do.  I am fully aware that I am OCD when it comes to my daughter and I'm ok with that.  I told Dave before we had Anna that I was going to be overprotective of her because that is just how I am.  Anyone who knows me knows that I fully research each and every product we ever buy for Anna(bottles, swing, food, etc.)  I'm just like this and although to some it may seem extreme, I don't really care.

On my birth board, breastfeeding was always a hot topic and everyone was judging.  I wanted to breastfeed but unfortunately I was very sick after I had Anna and that combined with being put on medication that affected my supply, I couldn't.  I was crushed and became very depressed that I could not breastfeed.  I also felt like everyone was judging me because I wasn't breastfeeding even though I wanted to but couldn't.  I know on my birth board there were ladies that chose not to breastfeed and boy did they get beat up.  Yes, breastmilk is best but if the mother does not want to do it she shouldn't get slammed for it.  I'm just happy if the child is getting fed regardless if it is by breastmilk or formula.

I just hate all the judgement that comes along with being a mother.  As a mother you do what is best for you and your child but unfortunately everyone has an opinion about what you are doing.  I told new mom today that you just have to let everyone's opinions and judgement slide off your back.  Love your child, that is the most important thing after all.

Life in the Fast Lane

Wow!  I was just thinking today how fast life changes.  They say as you get older, time moves much faster and I would definitely have to agree.  I look at Anna today and I can not believe she is 9 months old. . . . where did the time go?!  She is changing and growing everyday and some days I just want to hit a pause button so I don't miss anything.  I, now more than ever am just trying to be "present" in each and every moment.  I want to cherish each moment I have because next time I turn around Anna may be graduating high school!

I think about how much I have changed through the years and the things that use to seem so important just aren't anymore.  Dave and I were laughing last night as we were headed home from having dinner at a friend's house and was just completely looking forward to going home and watching a movie(and it was 8pm).  Four years ago we would have just been getting our night started!  Weekends that were spent hanging out at the river all day and going to the bars at night are now spent hanging out with friends depending on everyone's child nap/sleep schedule.  I wouldn't change it for the world.  I can honestly say I have never been happier in my life.  It just amazes me however how fast life changes.  I was looking at old pictures and I just had that "Wow" moment where I realized what seemed like yesterday was so long ago.  I reflected over how I have changed as a person and thought about where I have been, where I am now and where I want to go.  I looked to see if I am on the path I want to be on rather than just the path life has led me to.

Visiting friends in the hospital as they had their babies was such a surreal experience this past couple of weeks.  It felt like yesterday that Dave and I was there with Anna and now she is 9 months old.  It is amazing to me how much she alone has changed in these 9 months.  She went from a cranky, screaming, never sleeping baby with all this dark black hair to a happy, always smiling, sleeping through the night blonde haired child!  It is going to be so much fun watching Anna and all her new friends grow up together.  Hopefully Anna won't be too bad of an influence!  :)