Sacrifice and Letting Go

Today is Ash Wednesday and marks the beginning of Lent.  I received an email today from my boss, who happens to be a nun and this is what it said:

"The Season of Lent, our season of preparation for Easter glory, begins today on Ash Wednesday, March 9, 2011. On Ash Wednesday we receive again the blessed ashes on our foreheads in the form of a cross as a reminder of our mortality (“Remember you are dust and to dust you shall return”) and our sorrow for personal sinfulness (“for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God (Romans 3:23)”.  On Ash Wednesday Jesus reminds us to give alms (help others in need), pray in secret, and fast (practice self sacrifice for others). These spiritual disciplines coming from loving, humble hearts help us to faithfully follow our Lord Jesus in the way of the Cross. “Whoever would be my disciple must deny himself, take up his cross and follow me (Matthew 16:24).”  So often we are not ready to receive the rich blessings God intends for us because we are clinging to sin and to material goods, we are selfish and judgmental toward others. Lent is our opportunity to deal with these temptations and failures and by the mercy and grace of God learn to live more faithfully. It is then that Easter joy will become our own."

I have participated in Lent for a few years now.  No I am not Catholic but I do not feel that you have to be in order to participate in Lent.  Lent is about sacrifice, letting go and getting closer to God. This year I am giving up Facebook.  I know it may sound silly but I feel that there is so much of this world that takes our time and attention away from more important things and for me, Facebook is one of those.  I found myself checking Facebook instead of spending quality time and really being present with my family.  During Lent I am trying to focus on what really matters in my life and letting go of the things that don't.   

 

 

 

Opinions are like. . . .

There is the not-so-quite-old, tacky saying that "Opinions are like butt holes, everyone has one and they all stink".  I think of this saying when thinking about what I get asked a lot lately: "When are you going to have another baby?".  

I have responded to this question with different answers, "I don't know if I want another baby", "Probably when Anna is 2 y/o", "Never", "When I feel like it".  And no matter what I answer, it is met with many opinions from other people.  I get annoyed by being asked this quesion because what does it matter when and if I am going to have another baby.  I live my life according to my own plan not everyone elses'.  I don't have to see when Cindy Lou-Woo is going to have a baby so then I can determine if and/or when I am going to have a baby.  I choose what is right for me.

When I have said "I don't know if I want another baby" it is usually met with the popular opinion "YOU CAN'T HAVE AN ONLY CHILD!!!".  Really?  Last time I checked I can do whatever I flippin want!  I also get: "WHO WILL ANNA PLAY WITH?"  Um, hello she already has tons of friends and awesome cousins to play with!  "AREN'T YOU WORRIED THAT YOU WILL SPOIL ANNA IF SHE IS AN ONLY CHILD?"  Have you not met my child?  She has been spoiled since day 1!  "YOU HAVE TO HAVE ANOTHER CHILD FOR WHEN YOU DIE!"  I'm not planning on going anywhere but thanks! 

I love Anna and thank God each and everyday for her but geez do I feel busy and worn out.  She is so spunky and I just think to myself "Can I handle another mini-Anna(who is like a mini-Hitler)?".  I have a hard time balancing being a wife, working full-time and being a mother to one child, what if I can't handle another child added to the mix.  I love Anna so much and what if I don't like the next child as much?  What if Dave and I are so busy with 2 kids that we start neglecting our marriage and end up resenting each other?  I'm 32 and do I have the energy to go through pregnancy and having sleepless nights again?  What if I have another colic baby?  These are the issues I think about and weigh heavily.  Having a child was a HUGE decision and the decision to have another one is even larger.   

When I answer "Probably when Anna is 2 y/o", it is usually met with "DO YOU REALLY WANT TO WAIT THAT LONG, THAT IS SUCH AN AGE GAP!"  Wow, roughly 3 years, what am I thinking?!  My husband is 10 years younger than his next sibling:  that my friend is an age gap!  "IF YOU WAIT THAT LONG OUR KIDS WON'T BE THE SAME AGE AND WON'T BE FRIENDS!"  Who says my awesome kid is going to like your kid anyway?! 

So when am I really going to have another baby?  Honestly I am not 100% certain if and when I want another baby.  What I am certain of is that I will do what is right for me and my family.  I like the idea of having another child so. . . . who knows!