Weight No More!

Ok, so I am tired of being chubby, volumptious, curvy, hefty, chunky, grande, fat, or whatever else you want to call it.  I was a very skinny and active child and was fairly slim until my Senior year in high school.  I was on the basketball team in high school (shocker I know!) and then my Senior year I wanted to be a cheerleader and that is when I started gaining weight.  When I played basketball I ran daily even in the summer, when I became a cheerleader I stopped exercising as much but continued eating.  College brought on the "Freshman 15" and I have struggled with my weight off and on since then.

This past year I have really been reflecting and one of the things I am wanting to change is my weight.  I want to be healthy and proud of how I look.  I am tired of feeling ashamed.  I started working out with a trainer 2 times a week in January but I really don't think I have been in the right mind set until now.  I can do this!  I made it through college, graduate school, and basically natural childbirth so damn it I can lose weight and get in shape!

Each month I will post a pic and weight  Total weight loss goal:  -50 lbs.  Here is this month's (WARNING:  If you just ate you might not want to look, it ain't pretty! :)

Current weight:  185 lbs.

Anyone else who would like to join me on this journey, feel free to post also!

Lately

We have gone on little trips with Anna but this was our first official vacation with Anna.  It is amazing how much more you have to pack to go on vacation with a child!  Our car was packed!  

We went first to New Orleans and then to Destin.  New Orleans is one of my favorite places to be.  It is the heart of Louisiana, history and our culture.  It is a place where no one cares how you dress, how you act.  You can be free to just be you.  I also have a special place in my heart for New Orleans because my grandmother who passed away several years ago loved New Orleans.  The only item of hers that I have is a plate with St. Louis Cathedral and Jackson Square painted on it.  So needless to say every time I am in New Orleans I feel her there.  

New Orleans is alive once again.  It has been through so much lately from hurricanes and oil spills but you can feel the spirit of Louisiana and its people everywhere you go.  The only bad thing I can say about our trip to NOLA is that Dave lost my driver's license and Anna would not sleep in her pack-n-play in the hotel.  Overall I had a wonderful time in NOLA.

We traveled on to Destin.  First let me say that traveling in a car with a one year old is not a whole lotta fun!  She fussed, we got in horrible traffic jams and we were all just ready to be there.  Destin was gorgeous!  I had not been to the beach in 2 years since I was in my last trimester last year and unable to travel.  The beach and water was prettier than I had seen it in a very long time.  Anna LOVED the beach.  She loved playing in the sand and being in the water.  We had a lot of fun but it is stressful still because everything is centered around this little person.  Sometimes it is aggravating because you get tired of having to plan everything and it is hard to relax.  I loved seeing Anna's reaction to everything and getting to experience all of these firsts with her and that made it all worth it.

We returned from our vacation so that I could do the ropes course at Camp Forbing for Junior League.  I had so much fun!!  I got to know a lot of great girls even better and challenged myself.  I climbed to the top of the rock wall which was a big one for me.  I didn't know if I had enough upper body strength to do it but I did.  I jumped off a 30 ft. platform also.  I was so proud of myself for being able to do things that I didn't feel confident that I could do.  I have bragged to everyone :)  That's life though:  scary, challenging, rewarding, fun.

I have always had a close relationship with God.  It is not something that I feel the need to prove to everyone.  I grew up in church and have always prayed through the good and bad times.  I know that God is always there and is my rock when I have no one to lean on.  One of my personal beliefs is that God leads, I follow.  He leads me in directions I may not really want to go but where I need to go.  Right now I feel like he is leading me towards a particular situation.  I feel like I and my husband have not really reached out as we should.  I told Dave about this and he was like "Oh you just feel that way because you are a social worker and you like helping people".  That may be but I also feel very strongly that it is God leading me in this particular direction.  It is hard for Dave to understand because he did not grow up in church and does not have a relationship with God.  This is one of the things I pray for is that one day Dave will.  In the meantime I am following God and doing my best to follow his plan.

What I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up

There was an article on the front page of this past Sunday of the Shreveport Times that really hit home for me.  It was about a family trying to prevent their father from getting released from prision.  Andrew Ayres Sr. is in prision for physical and sexual abuse and neglect of his now 10 grown children.  I went to school with this man's children.  Their last names was Ayres so everyone referred to them as "The Ayres Kids".  One of the children William was in my class, we were only in the 6th grade.  Everyone in our town knew these kids were being severely abused.  The children came to school wearing the same dirty clothes everyday, covered in bruises and starving.  Everyone heard the stories that their dad had a chain around the refrigerator and refused the kids from eating at home.  The only meals they ever had was breakfast and lunch at school which they scarfed down and ate every bite.  The cafeteria workers (my grandmother being one of them) would give the kids double portions.  When the children had head lice, the father shaved all of their heads (including the girls) and made the girls wear these horrible old lady wigs to school.  One Christmas our class got together and bought a new pair of jeans for William that we made it look like he had just been lucky and drew the number for that present.  I remember he wore a  blue "Who Killed J.R.?" T-shirt  and those jeans to school everyday.  The kids never had coats when it was cold and never wore socks.  The father threatened our school bus driver with a gun because she was trying to stand up for the kids.  My heart went out to the kids and it still does.  I can not imagine the hell they went through on a daily basis.  I am in awe of their courage and strength.  I have more respect for them than anyone else I have ever met.

I remember being in sixth grade wondering why when everyone knew that these children were being abused yet no one did anything.  It was at that point in sixth grade that I decided I wanted to be a social worker.  I knew that I wanted to help people, I wanted to do something when no one else did, I wanted to make a difference and make the world better for some people.  I went to college and had everyone I knew trying to talk me out of being a social worker, "You'll never make any money" is what I often heard.  I stuck with it though.  When I applied to social work graduate school at LSU I had to write a letter of intent, basically asking why I wanted to be a social worker.  I wrote the above story in my letter.  Yes, I don't make a lot of money-in fact Social Work is the worst paying college degree!!  I don't care though.  My job has so many more rewards than money.  I know that everyday no matter how little I am making a difference and that is enough for me.

I continue to keep the Ayres kids in my thoughts and prayers.

Anna is 1

Anna turned one last weekend!  Yay for me for not killing the baby!  Seriously Anna made it to one and she's in pretty good shape!  Not too many falls, scratches or serious injuries/illnesses!  I'm not such a bad parent after all!

This year has flown by, I can't believe it!  Being a mom is the hardest yet best thing I have ever done in my life.  Words can not even begin to describe what it is like being a mom and the love you have for your child.  It is like finding the love of your life, you have no idea what it is like until you do it.  Other people can tell you but until you experience it yourself do you truly understand.  I can be having the worst day ever and seeing Anna makes me forget everything.  I consider myself one lucky girl with having Dave as my husband and Anna as my daughter.  There is nothing else in the world that can make me as happy as those two.

Anna's birthday party was a cupcake party and I think she had a really good time.  It was mixed emotions with her turning one.  Sadness that she was already growing up so fast and no longer a baby and then excitement that she is growing up and the adventures that await us!

Confessions

Cue Usher song:  "These are my confessions. . . .".

Confession 1:  I have girl crushes (in a total non-lesbian kind of way).  My girl crushes are women that I would want to be more like, not crushes in the sense that I'm attracted to them.  My celebrity girl crush is Heidi Klum.  I mean she's gorgeous and also a successful model, Project Runway host/creator, mom and wife.  My regular person girl crush is a girl in my work out class.  She has a great body and one that I would like to have.  She isn't super skinny but she is very toned and healthy.  That is what I am striving for right now.  I will never be one of those super skinny bitches and I am totally ok with that.  I like having curves because it makes me feel womanly.  I would just like my curves more toned.

Confession 2:  I really just don't like some people.  I use to think that if I didn't like everyone, then something must be wrong with me.  I tried everything I could to try to give these people the benefit of the doubt and try to like them but yet I still didn't.  I have now accepted that it isn't me, it is them and it is ok to not like everyone.

Confession 3:  I hate wearing make-up and fixing my hair.  Hello Humidity is not my bff!  With 102 temps and 100% humidity I just think what is the point of even trying to look nice!

Confession 4:  I am a magazine junkie.  I love some US Weekly, InStyle, People, Health, People Style, Women's Health, and Parents magazine!  I buy probably 2-4 in a week.  Yikes!

Confession 5:  I am on the border of being considered a hoarder.  I can't get organized which I chalk up mostly to being so friggin' ADD.  I start things that I never finish and I am so easily distracted.  I should probably be medicated but oh well.  I have little piles of crap all over my house.  Things to get to but I never do.  It drives me almost insane but I am also a procrastinator so you see my dilema!

Confession 6:  My husband is the love of my life but seriously there are some days I just want to chuck something and hit him upside the head.  Only the person you love can make you so mad!

Confession 7:  I am NOT a morning person and I hate cheerful morning people.  Let me have my coffee, give me another 30 minutes and then we can have a conversation.

Confession 8:  I have road rage and most family members and friends that know me well refuse to talk to me on the phone while I am driving.  I can't stand idiot drivers.

Confession 9:  I always return my shopping cart to the return bin in the parking lot.  It is a habit, I can't help it.

Confession 10:  I really do wish I had a death ray gun and some minions.

Confession 11:  I don't mind when friends copy me but when it is almost everything I do/have then it starts to freak me out in a "Single White Female" kind of way.

Hobbies!

If someone had asked me a couple of months ago what my hobbies were I would have replied "Um shopping and reading?".  I am starting to branch out and discover interests that have kind of always been there.  I have always considered myself as a fairly creative person.  I use to paint, draw, create crafts, and scrapbook in the past and always enjoyed it.  I went to Painting with a Twist a couple of months ago and just really fell in love with painting again.  (Note:  Painting the Peacock was not a success).  I did however paint two other things that turned out really well.  So the other day I went to Michael's and loaded up on paint supplies.  I have started my first painting and I am really excited.  I am definitely no Van Gogh but that's ok!

Anna has not been an easy child to photograph.  In the beginning she was always so grouchy and now she's happy but won't sit still for a second.  This results in blurred pictures or pictures of the back of her head.  Dave has not wanted to spend money to get a professional photographer and now my child is almost a year old and I have maybe a handful of decent pictures of her.  I told him the other day he was buying me a good high-speed camera so that I can take pictures of Anna.  Again photography was something else I enjoyed when I was younger.  My parents had a really good Canon camera and I would take pictures of everything including our ostriches and my grandfather's cows! I remember practicing with the different settings but having to wait until the film developed to see how the pictures turned out.  Thank God for digital now!  I haven't gotten my camera in yet but I am ready to take pics of my little flash baby.

Reading has always been the greatest hobby of mine and that has not changed.  I have phases where I will read for 3 months straight and then not read anything for like 2 months.  I love reading and I read all kinds of books.   I read educational books(mommy books), nonfiction(mostly stuff about the Holocost, cults or human rights, yes I am weird) and fiction.  I just ordered some new books from Amazon and I can't wait for them to come in.  Here is what I ordered:  "Never Let Me Go" by Kazuo Ishiguro, "The Help" by Kathryn Stockett, "Water for Elephants" by Sara Guen and "Night" by Elie Wiesel.  I also just bought "The Girl Who Played With Fire" at Target since I just finished the previous book in the series.  Currently I am reading "The Short Second Life Of Bree Tanner" by Stephenie Meyer.  Yes, I am a Twihard fan and I am so on Team Edward.  

I Have A Confession

Ok so the thing that I have been debating over the past few months. . . . .Junior League (gasp!).  It's ok to judge me, I do.  I always had an idea of the Junior League as being a bunch of rich, non-working, suburban driving, exercise loving, trophy wives.  The mere idea of joining the Junior League made me cringe and disgusted me.  Then. . . .I went to an informational meeting with a friend and discovered I was completely wrong.  Yes, the above description does apply to some women but I found that most women in the Junior League were a lot like me: a full-time working, exercise hating, ordinary, plain Jane.  I met a lot of great women that I am excited to get to know.  One of my resolutions at the beginning of the year was to branch out, meet new people and get involved in charity work.  The Junior League is the perfect way for me to accomplish this.  It is something I never in a million years thought I would do but sometimes it is nice being wrong.  So yes, ugh I'm joining the Junior League (it is just going to take some time for me to get use to the idea).

Excuses, Excuses, Excuses

I am so sick of all the excuses lately.  Jesse James used the excuse that he was physically and emotionally abused as a child by his father and that is why he cheated on Sandra Bullock.  Tiger Woods used the excuse that he was a sex addict as the reason he cheated on his wife.  Michael Jackson used the excuse that an event that happened in the late 80's was the reason he was a drug addict.  These are just celebrity examples but I have been hearing plenty of excuses with people I know.  Somehow people's behavior is excusable if they can cough up a decent reason.  It's ok to be a shitty person as long as you have some past event you can blame it on.  Whatever happened to people taking responsibility for their own actions?  It seems more common and popular to just make excuses rather than owning up.

One of my favorite actresses is Reese Witherspoon.  She and her most handsome hubby split up a few years back reportedly because he was having an affair.  In a magazine article Reese was quoted as saying that after the divorce she had to evaluate and own up to what was her responsibility in the failure of their marriage.  This is something that just made me like her even more.  In any relationship that goes sour, each person needs to own up to their responsibility.  No matter if it is a marriage, friendship, work relationship, etc.  Each person contributes to the breakdown and yes, sometimes one person contributes more to that breakdown such as cheating.  It is easier to point blame rather than looking at ourselves and what we contributed to situations. Like the saying goes, anytime you point a finger there is always three fingers pointing back at you.

One of my biggest pet peeves is someone blaming their actions on someone else or something that happened in the past.  "She has poor boundaries because she had such a rough upbringing", "He cheated because he was abused as a kid", "We stopped being friends because she talked about me behind my back".   Everyone has difficult times in their life but some use that difficult time to make excuses and gather sympathy rather than grow up and be an adult.  So in essence, grow a pair and take some responsibility rather than making excuses.

. . .And She's Off!

Today Anna crawled!!  I have been suspecting that Anna was crawling for a little while now but had never been able to catch her in action until today.  She has been a sneaky crawler!  Her boyfriend, Cayden at daycare started crawling last week so I figured it would be no time before Anna was chasing after him.  I came home from work out today and  Dave had Anna on the floor and she was crying.  The daycare worker told him that Anna was crawling all over the place today at daycare and Dave wanted to see her crawl.  About 2 seconds after Dave walked out the door Anna(pitifully crying) crawled to me to pick her up!!  I was met with mixed emotions.  On one hand I am excited that she is growing up and on the other hand I am sad that she is growing up.

Then I go to give Anna a bath and as I am running the water, she is clapping!  She loves water and was so excited to be getting a bath that she was clapping.  It was the first time I have seen her clap and it was precious.

These are the moments that just make me smile and thank God for the blessing named Anna.  I love being a mom and just didn't know how much I could love someone so little until I had Anna.  Her smile can make my day no matter what else is going on.  I look forward to each moment I have with her because I know each moment is precious.  I love my husband and daughter and really could not ask for anything more.  So milestone crawling: check.  Milestone walking: in progress.

Sailing Away

I will be sailing away to Mexico in almost one week!  I am excited, sad and scared all at the same time.  It is the first time in several years that I will be away from Dave that long and I have never been away from Anna more than a day.  I know Dave will do a great job of taking care of Anna while I am gone, I'm just going to miss them both so much.  I am taking a girls trip with my mom, sister and my mom's bff, Sandy.  I am looking forward to just relaxing even though I know I am still going to be missing my bunny and pumpkin.  Hopefully my sister and I will not kill each other.  We are complete opposites and can only spend limited time together.  Last time we took a cruise we did good, so here is hoping that history repeats itself! 

I watched two movies this weekend that had beautiful scenery and just made me wanting to travel even more so:  "Vicky Cristinia Barcelona" which took place in Spain and "Letters to Juliet" which took place in Italy.  I am a very curious person which probably explains my daughter a lot (she is very curious) and I would love spending the rest of my life traveling the world.  There are so many places I want to visit both within the U.S. and abroad.  I have made a list of such places and hopefully with time, mark each one off!  Dave is not big on traveling mostly because it requires flying so I know I will take some trips without him but of course never alone because what's the point of that!  Experiences are only fun if you have others to share in them!

Keeping Up With The Jones'

This morning I was reading a blog that just really spoke to me.  It was of a guy who was a corporate lawyer in DC who decided he was not happy working 80+ hours a week and wanted more purpose in his life.  He now works non-profit.  He also packed up most of his clothes and gave them to charity and now focuses on living a simple but purposeful life.  I enjoyed reading this stranger's blog because it really made me think about what is important to me.

I grew up poor so material things really don't matter that much to me.  To me, material things do not make you happy.  I really don't care about how big my house is, what car I drive or how much I spent on my clothes.  Anyone that knows me knows that I am a bargain shopper and I only buy things on sale.  My child's clothing comes from:  hand-me-downs, Target and the thrift store.  I find it silly to spend $50 on one single clothing item for a 9 month old child.  I grew up just wanting to live in a real house because I had always lived in a trailer house.  I told Dave when he was buying me an SUV that I didn't care what he bought me as long as it wasn't a Hyundai(only because they are crap cars).  He bought me an Audi because he knew I liked it and just wants to make me happy.

I struggle with trying to always focus on what is really important in life and not care about the material things that just don't matter.  I sometimes get caught up in other people's value on material things.  Now I am just getting to the point where I don't care if someone talks bad about me.  Money and "things" do not make you happy.   Dave tells me all of the time that he works hard so that he can give Anna and I whatever we want and I constantly tell him that all I want is him and Anna.  It is that simple.  As long as we are not struggling to make ends meet, I really do not care about the rest.

 I went to a friend's house for an event this past year and I along with other friends brought food and went early to visit with this friend.  Later on in the evening this friend had some acquaintances show up and she placed more emphasis on these acquaintances than us (friends) because these acquaintances have more of a social status( well known families, money, etc.)  My feelings were very hurt.  I value people based on who they are not what they are.

When I was in eighth grade one of my best friends wore a pair of cool purple jeans (yes, purple-it was the early 90's) to school one day.  I told her I liked her jeans and she said, "They're Girbaud".  This meant nothing to me so I asked her what Girbaud jeans were and she explained it.  I just thought they were cool jeans, still didn't matter to me what brand they were or that they cost $80.

I just think sometimes we all get so caught up on the material things that we don't focus so much on the things that really matter in life.  The things that really matter to me right now:  having a good marriage with my husband, having a healthy and happy daughter, spending time with family and friends, being a good person, making a difference, following God's path.  I have no interest in keeping up with the Jones' because in the end that isn't what matters.

The Toothless Bandit

A new mom said to me today "I just am not sure what I am doing is right" in referring to how she is feeling as a new mom.  I told her I've been a mom for 9 months now and I still feel this way.  You read books, people give you all kinds of advice and opinions (most unwanted) and you still feel uncertain that you are doing the right thing.  For example, my child still has no teeth.  I refer to Anna as "The Toothless Bandit".  She currently is eating baby food three times a day and bottles in between.  I look at the recommended guidelines and this is perfectly acceptable but other people feel free to tell me what their kid ate and basically insinuate that the way I am feeding Anna is all wrong.  UGH!  Please tell me how I am suppose to give my child meat when she does not have any teeth in which to chew said meat?!  Yes, please I would love my child to choke!

I am pretty strict on what I introduce and feed Anna.  Excuse me but I do not want my child eating crap food.  I am trying my best to instill in Anna good and healthy eating habits so that she might carry this with her throughout life.  I have learned that I need to lay off on all the orange veggies (carrots, squash, sweet potatoes) because Anna is looking a little jaundice.  I thought only carrots caused this but I found out today otherwise! (See pic of her orange nose at the bottom of post!) I'm not a perfect parent nor will I ever be.  I am just trying my best and that is all I can do.  I told new mom what I believe:  every child is different, every parent is different and different isn't wrong.  Hey if you want to give your child sugar and disgusting processed meat, go ahead I don't care.  Just please don't judge me because I don't do things the way you do.  I am fully aware that I am OCD when it comes to my daughter and I'm ok with that.  I told Dave before we had Anna that I was going to be overprotective of her because that is just how I am.  Anyone who knows me knows that I fully research each and every product we ever buy for Anna(bottles, swing, food, etc.)  I'm just like this and although to some it may seem extreme, I don't really care.

On my birth board, breastfeeding was always a hot topic and everyone was judging.  I wanted to breastfeed but unfortunately I was very sick after I had Anna and that combined with being put on medication that affected my supply, I couldn't.  I was crushed and became very depressed that I could not breastfeed.  I also felt like everyone was judging me because I wasn't breastfeeding even though I wanted to but couldn't.  I know on my birth board there were ladies that chose not to breastfeed and boy did they get beat up.  Yes, breastmilk is best but if the mother does not want to do it she shouldn't get slammed for it.  I'm just happy if the child is getting fed regardless if it is by breastmilk or formula.

I just hate all the judgement that comes along with being a mother.  As a mother you do what is best for you and your child but unfortunately everyone has an opinion about what you are doing.  I told new mom today that you just have to let everyone's opinions and judgement slide off your back.  Love your child, that is the most important thing after all.

Life in the Fast Lane

Wow!  I was just thinking today how fast life changes.  They say as you get older, time moves much faster and I would definitely have to agree.  I look at Anna today and I can not believe she is 9 months old. . . . where did the time go?!  She is changing and growing everyday and some days I just want to hit a pause button so I don't miss anything.  I, now more than ever am just trying to be "present" in each and every moment.  I want to cherish each moment I have because next time I turn around Anna may be graduating high school!

I think about how much I have changed through the years and the things that use to seem so important just aren't anymore.  Dave and I were laughing last night as we were headed home from having dinner at a friend's house and was just completely looking forward to going home and watching a movie(and it was 8pm).  Four years ago we would have just been getting our night started!  Weekends that were spent hanging out at the river all day and going to the bars at night are now spent hanging out with friends depending on everyone's child nap/sleep schedule.  I wouldn't change it for the world.  I can honestly say I have never been happier in my life.  It just amazes me however how fast life changes.  I was looking at old pictures and I just had that "Wow" moment where I realized what seemed like yesterday was so long ago.  I reflected over how I have changed as a person and thought about where I have been, where I am now and where I want to go.  I looked to see if I am on the path I want to be on rather than just the path life has led me to.

Visiting friends in the hospital as they had their babies was such a surreal experience this past couple of weeks.  It felt like yesterday that Dave and I was there with Anna and now she is 9 months old.  It is amazing to me how much she alone has changed in these 9 months.  She went from a cranky, screaming, never sleeping baby with all this dark black hair to a happy, always smiling, sleeping through the night blonde haired child!  It is going to be so much fun watching Anna and all her new friends grow up together.  Hopefully Anna won't be too bad of an influence!  :)

Randomness

My A.D.D. is kicking in full gear this morning, I probably need to be medicated for it but oh well!  Hence, the blog title is "Randomness", just my random A.D.D. musings!  Hope you are able to follow along.  :)

First off this morning I was thinking about invites.  I am planning Anna's first birthday party(yes, I love planning parties) and I am thinking about what size of party to have.  I do not want huge but yet I get to the case "Well, if I invite that person then I must invite that person" and so on and so on.  I get really tired of this.  Why can't I just invite who I want anymore?!  I thought about doing only family but then Anna has baby friends(bff of course right now is Cecilia) and I don't want to leave them out but doing so opens up the door.  People get their feelings hurt when they are not included in EVERYTHING!  This is stupid.  I'm sorry but I'm not responsible for your feelings.  I don't get invited to a lot of things but I don't whine about it.  Some people feel like they are somehow entitled to be invited to everything anyone does and guess what, they aren't.  I should be free to invite who I want without having to include those I don't want to.  Case in point, this past year for my birthday.  I just wanted a quiet intimate dinner witha few friends.  I did not want spend my birthday with everyone I know.  Somehow asking this was somehow wrong of me and people got mad that they were not invited.  IT WAS MY FRIGGIN BIRTHDAY!  Another example was right after Anna was born Dave and I just invited another couple over to the house to watch the LSU game.  Anna was colic and we could not have a  big rowdy crowd and her bedroom backs up to the den but others got their feelings hurt and were mad because we didn't invite them over.  CRAZY!  I'm sorry but my child is more important than other people's feelings, especially when those people are being selfish.  I feel like I shouldn't have to be guilted when I don't want to include everyone I know to every single thing I do.  So to summarize my thoughts this morning:  People need to get over themselves in feeling like they have the right to be invited to every single thing.  If I do not want to include everyone I know, that should be ok.  It isn't to be mean, it is to keep things simple and small.  Needless to say that if you don't get an invite to Anna's birthday party and get mad. .  . well, get over it and if you don't then call me not my husband!

The next of my A.D.D. thoughts this morning kind of tie into the previous.  You can see how my mind works.  There is a saying "Good fences make good neighbors".  This makes me think of boundaries and what is appropriate.  You must have boundaries in your life.  There are times I have to set boundaries with family, work and friends.  Some people do not understand the concept of appropriate boundaries and in this case the boundaries aren't clear and become enmeshed.  I guess because boundaries are a social work/therapy concept I am very aware of my boundaries with others.  Because some people do not have appropriate boundaries they do not have appropriate relationships with people.  Example:  a single male does not stay at a married female's house when the spouse is not home.  Even though the male and female are just friends and it may be innocent, it isn't appropriate.  It is a boundary that is enmeshed.  Some people are the epitomy of the saying "You give them an inch, they take a foot".  These people do not have boundaries so you must be the one to set them.  They tend to not like it but oh well.

 Life is changing and it is exciting.  Anna grows everyday and continues to amaze me.  She was giggling so much yesterday that it made me giggle.  She is so sweet and happy.  Makes me feel like I'm not screwing up too much as a mom!  I have never been happier in my life.  I have a wonderful loving husband and a beautiful, happy and healthy baby girl.  I don't mean to sound like I am bragging, I just wonder sometimes how I got so lucky!  God has really blessed me and I thank him for it everyday!

I am still working out  and boy has Blake been kicking my butt.  Last night's work out was brutal!  I feel like I am going to die during the work out but feel so good about myself afterwards.  I am struggling on getting my cardio on the days not working out.  Just seems like there are not enough hours in the day to do everything I need to do. 

I am contemplating something I swore I would never do and that sucks!  I hate being wrong!  I'm not ready to say yet what it is because I am still on the fence about it.  Boy is Dave going to make fun of me if I do decide that I am going to do it because I have made fun of it for years.  Stay posted.