Lately

We have gone on little trips with Anna but this was our first official vacation with Anna.  It is amazing how much more you have to pack to go on vacation with a child!  Our car was packed!  

We went first to New Orleans and then to Destin.  New Orleans is one of my favorite places to be.  It is the heart of Louisiana, history and our culture.  It is a place where no one cares how you dress, how you act.  You can be free to just be you.  I also have a special place in my heart for New Orleans because my grandmother who passed away several years ago loved New Orleans.  The only item of hers that I have is a plate with St. Louis Cathedral and Jackson Square painted on it.  So needless to say every time I am in New Orleans I feel her there.  

New Orleans is alive once again.  It has been through so much lately from hurricanes and oil spills but you can feel the spirit of Louisiana and its people everywhere you go.  The only bad thing I can say about our trip to NOLA is that Dave lost my driver's license and Anna would not sleep in her pack-n-play in the hotel.  Overall I had a wonderful time in NOLA.

We traveled on to Destin.  First let me say that traveling in a car with a one year old is not a whole lotta fun!  She fussed, we got in horrible traffic jams and we were all just ready to be there.  Destin was gorgeous!  I had not been to the beach in 2 years since I was in my last trimester last year and unable to travel.  The beach and water was prettier than I had seen it in a very long time.  Anna LOVED the beach.  She loved playing in the sand and being in the water.  We had a lot of fun but it is stressful still because everything is centered around this little person.  Sometimes it is aggravating because you get tired of having to plan everything and it is hard to relax.  I loved seeing Anna's reaction to everything and getting to experience all of these firsts with her and that made it all worth it.

We returned from our vacation so that I could do the ropes course at Camp Forbing for Junior League.  I had so much fun!!  I got to know a lot of great girls even better and challenged myself.  I climbed to the top of the rock wall which was a big one for me.  I didn't know if I had enough upper body strength to do it but I did.  I jumped off a 30 ft. platform also.  I was so proud of myself for being able to do things that I didn't feel confident that I could do.  I have bragged to everyone :)  That's life though:  scary, challenging, rewarding, fun.

I have always had a close relationship with God.  It is not something that I feel the need to prove to everyone.  I grew up in church and have always prayed through the good and bad times.  I know that God is always there and is my rock when I have no one to lean on.  One of my personal beliefs is that God leads, I follow.  He leads me in directions I may not really want to go but where I need to go.  Right now I feel like he is leading me towards a particular situation.  I feel like I and my husband have not really reached out as we should.  I told Dave about this and he was like "Oh you just feel that way because you are a social worker and you like helping people".  That may be but I also feel very strongly that it is God leading me in this particular direction.  It is hard for Dave to understand because he did not grow up in church and does not have a relationship with God.  This is one of the things I pray for is that one day Dave will.  In the meantime I am following God and doing my best to follow his plan.

What I Wanted to Be When I Grew Up

There was an article on the front page of this past Sunday of the Shreveport Times that really hit home for me.  It was about a family trying to prevent their father from getting released from prision.  Andrew Ayres Sr. is in prision for physical and sexual abuse and neglect of his now 10 grown children.  I went to school with this man's children.  Their last names was Ayres so everyone referred to them as "The Ayres Kids".  One of the children William was in my class, we were only in the 6th grade.  Everyone in our town knew these kids were being severely abused.  The children came to school wearing the same dirty clothes everyday, covered in bruises and starving.  Everyone heard the stories that their dad had a chain around the refrigerator and refused the kids from eating at home.  The only meals they ever had was breakfast and lunch at school which they scarfed down and ate every bite.  The cafeteria workers (my grandmother being one of them) would give the kids double portions.  When the children had head lice, the father shaved all of their heads (including the girls) and made the girls wear these horrible old lady wigs to school.  One Christmas our class got together and bought a new pair of jeans for William that we made it look like he had just been lucky and drew the number for that present.  I remember he wore a  blue "Who Killed J.R.?" T-shirt  and those jeans to school everyday.  The kids never had coats when it was cold and never wore socks.  The father threatened our school bus driver with a gun because she was trying to stand up for the kids.  My heart went out to the kids and it still does.  I can not imagine the hell they went through on a daily basis.  I am in awe of their courage and strength.  I have more respect for them than anyone else I have ever met.

I remember being in sixth grade wondering why when everyone knew that these children were being abused yet no one did anything.  It was at that point in sixth grade that I decided I wanted to be a social worker.  I knew that I wanted to help people, I wanted to do something when no one else did, I wanted to make a difference and make the world better for some people.  I went to college and had everyone I knew trying to talk me out of being a social worker, "You'll never make any money" is what I often heard.  I stuck with it though.  When I applied to social work graduate school at LSU I had to write a letter of intent, basically asking why I wanted to be a social worker.  I wrote the above story in my letter.  Yes, I don't make a lot of money-in fact Social Work is the worst paying college degree!!  I don't care though.  My job has so many more rewards than money.  I know that everyday no matter how little I am making a difference and that is enough for me.

I continue to keep the Ayres kids in my thoughts and prayers.

Anna is 1

Anna turned one last weekend!  Yay for me for not killing the baby!  Seriously Anna made it to one and she's in pretty good shape!  Not too many falls, scratches or serious injuries/illnesses!  I'm not such a bad parent after all!

This year has flown by, I can't believe it!  Being a mom is the hardest yet best thing I have ever done in my life.  Words can not even begin to describe what it is like being a mom and the love you have for your child.  It is like finding the love of your life, you have no idea what it is like until you do it.  Other people can tell you but until you experience it yourself do you truly understand.  I can be having the worst day ever and seeing Anna makes me forget everything.  I consider myself one lucky girl with having Dave as my husband and Anna as my daughter.  There is nothing else in the world that can make me as happy as those two.

Anna's birthday party was a cupcake party and I think she had a really good time.  It was mixed emotions with her turning one.  Sadness that she was already growing up so fast and no longer a baby and then excitement that she is growing up and the adventures that await us!

Confessions

Cue Usher song:  "These are my confessions. . . .".

Confession 1:  I have girl crushes (in a total non-lesbian kind of way).  My girl crushes are women that I would want to be more like, not crushes in the sense that I'm attracted to them.  My celebrity girl crush is Heidi Klum.  I mean she's gorgeous and also a successful model, Project Runway host/creator, mom and wife.  My regular person girl crush is a girl in my work out class.  She has a great body and one that I would like to have.  She isn't super skinny but she is very toned and healthy.  That is what I am striving for right now.  I will never be one of those super skinny bitches and I am totally ok with that.  I like having curves because it makes me feel womanly.  I would just like my curves more toned.

Confession 2:  I really just don't like some people.  I use to think that if I didn't like everyone, then something must be wrong with me.  I tried everything I could to try to give these people the benefit of the doubt and try to like them but yet I still didn't.  I have now accepted that it isn't me, it is them and it is ok to not like everyone.

Confession 3:  I hate wearing make-up and fixing my hair.  Hello Humidity is not my bff!  With 102 temps and 100% humidity I just think what is the point of even trying to look nice!

Confession 4:  I am a magazine junkie.  I love some US Weekly, InStyle, People, Health, People Style, Women's Health, and Parents magazine!  I buy probably 2-4 in a week.  Yikes!

Confession 5:  I am on the border of being considered a hoarder.  I can't get organized which I chalk up mostly to being so friggin' ADD.  I start things that I never finish and I am so easily distracted.  I should probably be medicated but oh well.  I have little piles of crap all over my house.  Things to get to but I never do.  It drives me almost insane but I am also a procrastinator so you see my dilema!

Confession 6:  My husband is the love of my life but seriously there are some days I just want to chuck something and hit him upside the head.  Only the person you love can make you so mad!

Confession 7:  I am NOT a morning person and I hate cheerful morning people.  Let me have my coffee, give me another 30 minutes and then we can have a conversation.

Confession 8:  I have road rage and most family members and friends that know me well refuse to talk to me on the phone while I am driving.  I can't stand idiot drivers.

Confession 9:  I always return my shopping cart to the return bin in the parking lot.  It is a habit, I can't help it.

Confession 10:  I really do wish I had a death ray gun and some minions.

Confession 11:  I don't mind when friends copy me but when it is almost everything I do/have then it starts to freak me out in a "Single White Female" kind of way.