Girls

I get tired of being friends with girls.  Why?  Because we are all so petty and mean at times.  It is like some natural instinct to want to tear another girl a part.  We are always competing against each other.  We talk bad about each other, we put each other down and we are just overall very immature.  I have tried to not be this way but I admit it is hard.  I just really get annoyed when people make comments about things that don't matter like what a child is wearing.  Who cares?  As long as a child is dressed appropriately for weather and circumstance, what is the big deal?!  I honestly do not care what my child wears to daycare.  She is going to daycare!  I am not going to put her in smocked clothing, what is the point?  Do the daycare workers care about what my child is wearing?  Nope!  Do the other babies go "OMG, look at what Anna's mom put her in?!"?  NO!  What matters to me is that my child is happy and healthy.  If someone doesn't like what my child is wearing, suck it!

I also get annoyed by girls that are ALWAYS putting someone down.  Get over yourself already!  Everyone has different style and just because it doesn't match your style doesn't make their style wrong.   I admit sometimes I see people (the Boardwalk is a perfect example) that I go "What the hell is she wearing?" or "Did she get dressed in the dark?" or "Does ____ think it is Halloween?" or "Geez, she looks like a hooker".  I just try to keep it to myself, sometimes I am not successful but I still try.  Being friends with someone especially means not saying these things behind their back.  It's just ugly.  Again, I have been guilty of talking bad about other girls behind their back but if it is someone I consider a friend, I try not to.  I have been trying to not engage when someone else is doing it but it is like a natural instinct and you sometimes just get caught up in it.   Sometimes I feel like I should be in 6th grade again when I am around certain girls.

I heard something the other day that I felt was so true: "Women dress for other women not for men".  Men don't care about what we are wearing, they probably would prefer we wear nothing at all!  When a woman is getting dressed she thinks about what other women she is going to see will be wearing and tries to look better.  The instant we see the other women we do a quick one-over of their outfit and then decide if we look better.  If we don't feel like we do, we immediately want to go change!  Any woman that states she does not do this is a big, fat liar.  So why do we do all this???  Simple, we are completely insane!  No, truth being we are all insecure.  Skinny, fat, tall, short we are all insecure about how we look.  We take this insecurity out on other women.  Somehow if we put others down about their looks, then we feel better and more secure about our looks.   I realized yesterday that there is a girl that always complements me but I always fail to compliment her.  I almost always like how she dresses but I never tell her.  I thought about why I do this and it dawned on me, I'm jealous and insecure!  Insanity I tell you!
So from now on, I said I am going to make a conscious effort to compliment this girl when I like something she is wearing.  Maybe as women, if we compliment each other more than putting each other down we might get somewhere!

Being a mother has really changed me, I look at things differently.  I think about how my actions are going to affect her.  I want Anna to always feel beautiful, to not worry about other girls, to not put another girl down because she is feeling insecure or jealous, to not compare herself to other girls.  Mostly I want Anna to just be a nice person who accepts others for who they are.  I want to give Anna the best of everything in life but I still want her to be humble.  I feel like children learn from example so I am trying to be that example for her.  It isn't easy, but I'm trying.